Christmas. I mean, It’s not that I changed my mind about it. I just never got it. Since I’ve never celebrated Christmas, I could never figure it out. What was it all about? What do people do on Christmas? Why has this music been playing on the radio for months? And so on. There were a very small number of Jewish families growing up and it was just this mysterious 24 hours when suddenly everything was closed and people were inside their houses. I feel like I get it now. For many people, it’s about how they feel on Christmas morning. Which for them I think is a really beautiful thing.

How about the world’s worst mom, Lenore Skenazy?

I like the way she uses facts to point out people’s silliness. For example, people who carefully examine every piece of Halloween candy to see if it has been tampered with. She points out that “No child has ever been killed by poisoned candy. Ever.”

That’s just one example, but I just like the way she’s not a sheep.

If your smartphone is more interesting or fun than I am, that’s a sign I should be hanging out with a different friend.

Have you ever been on an airplane that gets delayed, or stuck on the runway, and there’s always someone on that plane who feels the need to yell at the flight attendant, and the ticket-counter people? I’m so important, I have to be somewhere, no one is more important than me, don’t you realize that I’m the best man in Hung’s wedding that’s starting in five hours? Anyhow, I tend to be more calm in those situations, yet still firm and inquisitive. But if you’re the first type of person, you probably think that I don’t care, or I’m tepid, quiet, weak, or un-assertive. You’re wrong. The opposite of jerk isn’t apathy. Telling the flight attendant to *&*^ herself doesn’t make you strong.

Words are changing for the better. And, for the worse. Decades ago we called our teachers “Miss Jameson” and our friends’ parents “Mr. McGillicuddy” and we wouldn’t have dreamed that by 2020 children would be saying “what’s up Marcie?” to their teachers and “Cool beans Bill” to their friends’ parents. I’m not sure this is a great trend, since words are important and represent how we respect or don’t respect people. On the other hand, some words that are used to make assumptions are less acceptable now, which is a good trend. If we say “infantryman,” we may over time assume we mean “man,” but we could mean a woman in the Army. So maybe infantryman isn’t the best word, unless you’re describing a specific man and not the general occupation.

Distrusting everything. Some people now trust nothing. They don’t trust the government. Big business. The media. Everything else. They maybe trust the ma-and-pa diner down the street, and the military. But otherwise they think everyone’s lying to them. I’m hoping eventually we get to the point where you go to the car dealer and you feel like “they’re just salespeople who are trying to spin things in a positive light” instead of assuming that every single thing the car dealer says will be a lie.

I wish I could say the Ooni Koda pizza oven, but after two weeks of this thing, the pizza either comes out raw, or is literally on fire.

So I can’t think of one.

Maybe the basketball hoop and bike rack this spring. It’s so nice to bike with no plan, no exact route, just where you decide on the fly.

This question about purchases reminds me – I was in Austin about a year and a half ago for work. I was riding in a Lyft. The driver told me that a year prior, his wife was pregnant. They were down to their last $1,000, out of work, and not in a good place. Anyhow, his wife took the $1,000 and bought a kayak. With their last dollars, she spent it on a kayak. He was infuriated with her. How could she take their last bit of money and blow it on a stupid kayak? He was livid.
Over time, he said, that kayak brought them more satisfaction than they could ever have dreamed of. It paid for itself many times over in terms of their mental health. It was the best $1,000 they ever spent, he said.

Although coincidentally I happen to love kayaking, I can’t think of a story about a kayak or similar purchase like the Austin Uber driver told me. But I’ll always remember his story.

The letter my grandfather got from the Navy on November 30, 1945.

Funny you ask, because I do remember that in high school, I had to write an essay about the one person I admired. It was a college admissions essay. Mine was Wile E. Coyote. I guess I liked the underdog in him. Wish I could find that essay.

Another, you probably heard this one before. Eleanor Roosevelt, a former first lady, she said that great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. I love that.

Last one.

I have no idea who said this to me about 25 years ago, but things that seem to be coincidences rarely are. Take, for instance, someone who feels like they always get in car accidents. Why me? Why am I doomed like this? Blah blah blah. Certainly, it’s possible they have had their fair share of bad luck. But if you really analyze the situation, maybe they:

Live in a city with a lot of driving

Or

Are a realtor, or some other category that increases their odds of an accident or their amount and type of driving

Or

They drive distracted a lot

And so on.

Or, the people who say “it’s so annoying. Every Thanksgiving our sink gets clogged and we have to call a plumber.” Or, “every year on the family road trip, we seem to be cursed. We get a flat tire.” Or, “I keep ordering clothes that aren’t the size I ordered.”

These aren’t always coincidences. People jam more stuff down their sinks (and their toilets) on Thanksgiving. So, the plumber gets called more. They drive more on the annual road trip. So, they are more likely to get a flat or a dead battery. And they are more likely to have customer-service issues if they … order a lot of stuff. You’ll hear people say “I’m such a klutz. I’ve spilled something on three computers.” Well, given the 18 hours a day we’re all on our computers, I’d say we’re all very generally pretty un-klutzy, and keep our spills contained pretty well.

It’s funny the way the mind works.

In the world of careers and schools and elites in general, there’s this sense among certain elitists that the path to a worthwhile life is about grades and college, and certain colleges. Some people are obsessed with where their friend’s kids and their colleagues and their neighbors went to college, business school, this school, that school, and so on, and can’t wait to say “good school” after the college is named. My kid got into blah blah university. “Good school!” My cousin graduated from the top of their class at blippetly blahpatty university. “Good school!” Then everyone feels validated. Certainly — don’t get me wrong — under some circumstances, grades and schools are very important. But as kids we never quite realized that the heavy partying C-student would be the future manager; we thought they were doomed to failure and we didn’t understand they actually had all the right skills. There are multiple ways to “succeed.” And it’s not always smart to live your life in the future. This person here said it so well.

It is stunning how much the world has improved. Hunger, way down, like dramatically. Extreme poverty, way down. Child mortality, down. Healthcare, up, way up, despite 2020. Literacy, up. It’s just remarkable the way the world has gotten better. On the other hand, sometimes I think if we stopped making movies and music after the 1980s, we might all be ok.

Almost all people (no, of course, not all) are generally good — short, fat, tall, thin, purple, green, homeless, rich, poor. There’s no need to be scared of people like they’re contagious, like looking away from homeless people. You can smile or say hi sometimes. Everyone you meet has such an incredible story. People are so interesting. I like this message: “Teach your kids to talk to strangers. You can talk to anyone, you just cannot go off with anyone.”

Jeremy Roberts. When he left a job we were at together, he called me up and said, “don’t worry, nothing will really change. I’ll still walk my dog and give you a call.” I thought that was cool.

Thank you to Todd Raphael for taking 20 Questions for The Brainfood Tribune.